confessions ; [complete]

[ticking]

Kudos? The thought of the man she had just shot laughing and making fun of her really did make Elisa throw up. Tears brimmed down her face as the realization of what she had just done came apparent. He was joking with her after she had just shot off part of his hand!

“I-“ she tried again but no words would form around her lips and instead she throw up a bit again. She hated herself, was tearing at her very soul for her stupidity. Why hadn’t she just listened to his words and taken his kindness head on? Was he that bad of a creature? Part of her screamed yes while the other yelled no.

Managing to hold back her barf and tears for a bit Elisa managed to crawl over to where her gun had been forgotten. She took the weapon and felt it carefully, feeling it’s edges and brims. What should she do? She was so confused the very thing she had wanted to do for months now she had done but the feelings she had felt from the act were nothing like she had imagined.

Elisa turned her gaze back to Harvey who was trying to cut off the bleeding with his scarf. Staggering to her feet Elisa wiped the tears and vomit off of her face and wobbled over to him. His face was scrunched up in pain and Elisa looked at his hand and nearly started throwing up again. The shot had done a lot worse than she had first imagined and the pain looked unbearable. Unsure, herself on what she was doing she lowered herself to Harvey’s side and took his head. Telling him to sit still, from her pant’s pocket she grabbed a roll of flimsy looking bandages and other such medical materials and began to inspect his hand. Luckily before her house had been set on fire Elisa’s mother had made her make a small first aid kit just in case something like this happened to her. How would her mother feel if she saw what the kit was instead being used for?

[=TRACKALACKA]

Harvey nearly jumped to his feet in surprise as he felt Elisa grab his hand, though he complied as she inspected it and cared for it with her own supplies. He watched her in wonder, noting how her cheeks were wet with tears. He wasn't sure if anyone would believe him if he told the story of someone who shot off half of his hand helped heal it after. A strong sense of gratitude filled his chest, and the mysterious feeling grew, but it wasn't as painful.

"I--" he said. It was an echo of what she had said only moments before. "I--thank you," he said sincerely. The pain in his head seemed less. He tried to smile but it proved to be too difficult, so instead he thinned his lips. He wasn't sure why he couldn't smile. He wanted to speak, too, but there was a lump in his throat that stopped him. In his time away from Helix he had felt and seen more emotions than all his years at Helix combined. He understood that this was something very human, and though he likely didn't experience them at their full potential, he knew humans did, and the idea of undergoing these emotions for an entire lifetime was almost mind boggling.

He exhaled sharply then put his head against the bench, and close his eyes. He wished that when he opened them he would be in some other circumstance, but he'd still want the same person with him. That he was sure of, if nothing else.

[ticking]

Elisa didn’t say anything to his mutter of thanks. What was she supposed to say, you’re welcome? Any time I shot a part of you off just come running over and I’ll fix you right up? Instead she focused her eyes downward at his injured hand. Many of his fingers were mangled and some of his fingers defiantly looked like they would never been used again. Elisa told herself not to concentrate on the fact that she had caused such a injury as she cleaned up the blood and inspected the hand.

“This will hurt.” She said empty, taking out a piece of fish wire and a needle. “Please just bare with it.” Gently, she forced the needle into his skin and felt his hand shake as it did so. Continuing on calmly Elisa slide the needle with the attached wire through to the other side of the first major cut and continued to do a butterfly stitch until the cut was fully closed. There were no scissors to cut the wire in her kit so Elisa had to bend over and try to bite apart the wire with her teeth. She managed to do so but received a bloody mouth as the wire cut into her cheek and lips. She ignored the pain; Harvey’s pain would be 10 times that of hers she told herself. Starting on another cut.

The three things near the end of his hand looked dead and empty of life and the only thing Elisa could do with them was bandage them up with the rest of his hand and pray they would survive. Standing up she dusted herself off and looked at him with a pair of empty and emotionless eyes. “Rest for a few days and you’ll be fine.” She said, turning to leave.

[=TRACKALACKA]

Harvey was rather unnerved when she gazed at him before speaking. There was nothing behind her eyes. Humans always had something behind their eyes. He blinked, as she told him to rest and he'd be fine, in which she then turned to leave. He watched her head for the doorway, and looked at his hand. It was bloodied, but she had done a wonderful job. He stared at where his middle, ring and pinky fingers once where, and sighed. Then smiled. It always felt better to smile.

He looked up at Elisa as she was leaving. The feeling in his chest tightened. He still didn't understand, but it hadn't been the first time he'd felt it. It was long ago now, though. His smile grew and he laughed to himself at the memories that came to his mind.

Once again he looked at Elisa, who was almost out the door. "Farewell, darling," he whispered, smiling. "I hope we can meet again."
And with that he relaxed against the bench and decided this would be a good place for a nap.